… Can we make it a thing? It’s now a thing.
So yesterday I started at 2mg/h ketamine. Right now I’m at 18.*
Every time the dosage was increased all day, first I felt a bit ill and then I felt a bit dizzy and after a while and a few medical adjustments I seemed to settle in, although with an ever-increasing general level of … well, what I can only describe as ‘stoned’.
At about 12mg I probably couldn’t have formed a coherent sentence. I felt low-grade but constantly nauseous, and a bit disassociated from reality. But my back was hurting and I decided to throw caution to the winds and dig into the guided meditations and yoga exercises that I had downloaded beforehand in a fit of Yogic Zeal (TM).
I started with a guided meditation, lying down with plenty of comfortable propping-up, courtesy of the Captain who came at lunchtime with a care package of pillow and yoga bolster. Because he is a saviour and the best man in the world.
Big purple bolster.
The meditation actually seemed to help, in that slowing down and breathing deeply cleared my mind slightly and gave me some energy.
Then I went all out and got stuck into a yoga sequence. Which I quickly discovered is complicated by: a) doing it in the space between a hospital bed and the wall on industrial carpet, b) doing it whilst attached to Neville the IV unit, and c) being, to put it gently, quite, quite off my conk.
But you know what? I did it, and will probably do it again tomorrow. Because it was kind of fun, stretched out my muscles and joints quite pleasantly, eased pain, and apparently helped me to normalise the ketamine a bit.
Immediately afterward I was bumped up to 14mg and felt a sort of mental clarity settling. For the first time all afternoon I was able to settle in with a book *** and feel a bit calm and serene (as opposed to a bit freaked and icky).
I think there are still challenging times ahead but hey – Stoned Hospital Bed Yoga (TM) is there for me.
* Yes I’m still typing lucidly. ** I have to admit that I am relying heavily on the autocorrect, and concentrating quite hard to get sentence … things … out.
** I think I’m still lucid. Am I lucid?
*** Okay, I did read the same paragraph about eight times, but it was reading!